The Feeling Of Impending Doom

Well, I discovered something this weekend. I really have a lot of people fooled. A whole lot of people. Some actually think I have periods of feeling this way. No. That is absolutely incorrect. I have periods of feeling okay. The other is constant. I wake up anxious, panicked and depressed and I go to bed anxious, panicked and depressed and that is how I feel throughout the day, with a few moments of feeling alright. The physical exhaustion is getting worse by the day. I can barely keep the house picked up and laundry done. Everything I manage to do, I have to force myself to do. Everything. And some things are about to change for me and that is causing more anxiety than normal. Sometimes I wonder about all of the people that I THINK have it all together. Do they really? Or are they just like me….faking it on the outside and desperately just trying to hold it all together on the inside? Still hopeful that things will eventually get better. Or maybe I just need to take back my old way of thinking…from when I was a kid….this is just how it is. Deal with it.