Nobody’s job

Something happened yesterday afternoon that made me realize something.  It is NOBODY’S job to make me happy. Happiness is a decision, not a feeling.  So, I have to decide every day to be happy either along with, or in spite of, those around me.  People are not consistent.  So, I choose to ignore the pain of being constantly lonely and try to find my happy place with or without anyone’s help.  Probably without. I’ve been thinking more about “the wall” I’ve put up.  Walls aren’t all bad.  They are sometimes used to keep the enemy out. To protect us.  To shield us.  So, maybe walls are a good thing. Mine makes me feel safe, so I may just have to keep it.  For a while, anyway.